Sisters Declassified Life Survival Guide: Two sisters with four daughters; dishing drama, trauma and survival tips for the everyday.
Two sisters with four daughters. Dishing drama, trauma and survival tips for the everyday.
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Cover Art by Grace Humble
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Sisters Declassified Life Survival Guide: Two sisters with four daughters; dishing drama, trauma and survival tips for the everyday.
Traumageddon
The conversation deepens as we explore the evolving understanding of trauma and autism diagnoses over the past two decades. We share personal stories and insights into how these diagnoses have been validated and the changes in terminology, such as the removal of Asperger's. The discussion also reflects on the stigma surrounding autism and learning disabilities and the improvements in diagnostic tools and awareness today. Along the way, we delve into the emotional and complex family situations involving accusations of abuse, addressing immediate reactions, justice, and societal views on punishing sexual predators.
Online negativity versus real-world kindness—there’s a stark difference, and we have the anecdotes to prove it. This episode wraps up with a thoughtful discussion on repeated traumatic experiences, exposure therapy, and the ever-growing toxicity of online environments. We share a hopeful outlook on younger generations distancing themselves from these toxic spaces and end with exciting plans to enhance listener engagement through social media and email. Don't miss out on our unique sign-off and the chance to connect with us directly!
Thanks for listening!
hey, liz hey rachel first part of horse poop hey hey, happy pride. Yeah, oh, I forgot, I meant to change my uh. Uh, I went to, uh, I was going to change my profile picture. One of my girls oh, you know her um, kristen from the gorge, um, the, they're both short.
Speaker 2:I'm like I don't know how to explain it redhead, freckly kind of yeah, um, she changed her uh profile picture which I thought was hysterical um to say wishing all the homophobes a super uncomfortable month. I was like I kind of I'm gonna steal that.
Speaker 1:That's kind of great, oh my god, I love it I saved it.
Speaker 2:I forgot. I haven't changed it yet, but I may uh, put that on there, because it's like you guys don't need to hate anyone.
Speaker 1:That's funny, yeah, but I thought it was kind of great your hair looks good it's.
Speaker 1:You know this is doing nothing to it yeah I have so much hair, I have so fucking much hair. Um, the girl that cut it, I mean she did a good job with the cut, like it's even yeah, if that makes sense, but she doesn't know how to cut my hair. Yeah, um, so I, I need less hair. And yeah, um, yeah, so it's challenging. There's a girl that works there, that's very young, that I used to work with at the unnamed place, um, and she, uh, she's like, let me cut it. You can watch in a mirror. And I'm like, dude, I do not trust you, I'm so sorry. And she's like, no, but I can do a good job. And I'm like, nah, I can't do it.
Speaker 1:But I'm at the point where I'm gonna probably just shave the bottom, like I thought about like, yeah, shaving like from here down, yep, just to get rid of some of the hair. Yeah, because I I have so much hair. And I'm not complaining because you know I could be bald, but sometimes I just wish I had less. Hello, I'm bald. You know what? I forgot what your speaker? Yeah, I'm like I'm gonna.
Speaker 2:I'm gonna sound as tinny as you you sound like you're in a tunnel. I know I'm gonna sound as tinny as you on this episode because I forgot to plug in my fucking mic bullshit. So what's you on this?
Speaker 1:episode because I forgot to plug in my fucking mic Bullshit.
Speaker 2:So what's going on this week? Oh, trauma. Get in, that's what we were going to get in. I'm a get in, oh dear God. Well, it has multiple meanings, right? I?
Speaker 2:know, Like our defined this and then our how-to are kind of both like the same thing, because I guess we, when you and I were talking about it a little bit, it was plug your mic in. I have a couple thoughts on this. I will. Okay, sorry listeners, sorry to our foreign listeners and the chickens, we're fixing it right now. Oh, anyway, what are we talking about? Promenade and meaning I, I have a couple meetings. My first one is that hello, how are you much?
Speaker 1:better, much better sleepless in seattle.
Speaker 2:What are you calling for? Okay, sorry about that, but I I think I have two separate definitions for it. So the first one is sort of like okay, I feel as though the word trauma has been overused. It is kind of thrown around quite flippantly and is sort of become like a mantra, slash, uh, I don't know cross to bear kind of over zealously claimed by a lot of people, unnecessarily so, and so I feel like that is one part of it. Um, I also think that, yes, most people are traumatized by things um and by world events and you know, um relationships and humanity and just being a human.
Speaker 2:There are things that do cause and create actual trauma for sure but I think that it, like the way in which we're using the word, has almost been completely overtaken in a way that well, I think it's a lot trivialized.
Speaker 1:Yes, by how many times and how many people use that word, um, and people are just like whatever well, it's sort of abusing the word, the term, yeah, yeah, for what it was intended to mean.
Speaker 2:Sure, I agree with that. But in that same sense though, I also just wrote an article and I know they're not going to publish it because it's right Inflammatory about trauma, informed teaching. If you're teaching and you don't understand that there are people that are traumatized and you're kind of behind the eight ball, you've you've missed the assignment entirely because most you know most young kids are going through their things and they're having a hard time and they're dealing with things that are challenging. Covid was challenging for most kids and if you're not a teacher that you know thinks about it in those terms that yeah, they missed some learning, um, they didn't have social skills. You know all of those things and you're you're entirely missing the bucket. But overusing the term for just challenging times as a human and being an adult and struggling through puberty and all of those things, and saying that that's trauma is not the yeah the thing, I agree with that um so define this.
Speaker 2:What is Trump? Are we gonna? I don't know. Are we gonna talk about your week? I don't know. Is your, your side hustle, traumatizing my side hustle.
Speaker 1:Which one? What I mean? The truck, yes, uh, okay, so I mean, yeah, I mean it. I don't think it was traumatizing, it was exhausting and frustrating. I think that is the correct word, correct words for it. So our food truck? Um, we had to. So this is so stupid. But the city, um, or state has decided that every six months or so, we're going to update some laws on food trucks and food trucks and make more requirements, which is totally bogus. Um, but now they're making everybody who has a griddle or has any type of oil or anything like that, which I can see having a fire suppression system if you have um like fryers, um, or you know something like deep, like deep frying french fries.
Speaker 1:Yeah, like deep frying stuff in your truck, whatever, um. So I can see that maybe that would be something you would want to do, but we produce minimal grease. I mean minimal um. All we do is heat up our stuff that has been previously cooked. I mean, our eggs and potatoes are rewarmed, which eggs are cooked on the griddle, but eggs don't produce grease.
Speaker 2:Um and so anyway, it doesn't matter neither here nor there.
Speaker 1:They're making every food truck that cooks anything in the food truck, um, put a fire suppression system in. So we were like, well shit. So we looked up, called a couple places 12 grand. I'm like hell to the no well what?
Speaker 2:what is the? What are the defining like? How do they define a fire suppression system? What is what does that have to mean for a food truck sprinklers fire alarm by a professional.
Speaker 1:You cannot, you, you cannot install it yourself, um, there has to be cert. It has to be a certified fire inspection place that has to install it. Um, and so what's funny about this is you can run propane and not have electrical. A fire suppression system is not going to work unless it's connected to electrical. So it's basically the stupidest rule ever. And the lady from the health department she's the kindest person actually. Anytime I have a question, I call her. She's on it, she knows her shit and she knows what the rules are and everything. And she said I just don't understand this. And she said they're literally putting out of business.
Speaker 1:Yes, so somebody at the top yeah, because of the top is got a restaurant and that's threatened by it or something and food trucks are hurting their business yeah, that's just the silliest thing, because food trucks are mobile, we're going around from place to place, um restaurants um are totally different animal anyway, doesn't matter so we decided we are going to not have an open flame anymore, we are going to go all electric. So we decided to do that, and so we had to buy some new equipment, take out the griddle um do a bunch of stuff. It's going to change everything, including, probably, how things taste. I don't know um, we haven't totally figured all that out yet, but we have to work tomorrow night, so we're gonna. Tomorrow night will be our final, final thing.
Speaker 1:But I had um roommate three's boyfriend and roommate two's boyfriend over on saturday to help us because we got this new fridge and it literally is was like 400 pounds and I was like I'm not getting that in the food truck with you, we'll literally kill each other, um, and so they came over and helped us, um, put all this stuff in, and now we've realized that it doesn't work the way it is, so we're having to move it again, but all the electrical's done, everything is running as it should, so hopefully we'll be fine. Um, but it's been a whole ordeal just because we are people who follow the rules. Okay, there's so many questions and it's so stupid, but we do.
Speaker 2:We follow everyone, okay but I have a quick question sure can't you just get a fucking fire extinguisher installed by a professional?
Speaker 1:Nope Does not work. It has to be a suppression system.
Speaker 2:We have a fire suppression system.
Speaker 1:We have fire extinguishers in the truck. Those are required. Those are required that is a fire suppression system. Well, it's not, according to Oklahoma state laws. State laws for health.
Speaker 2:You need to write your congress. You guys actually have a. Really you have a decent guy there in oklahoma, the one I think I sent you the reel of him. He's actually good. You should support him. Um, he was talking about the uh trans kid that got killed or died in schools and he was like I'm sorry, you guys needed to mandate, report this because it's a hate crime and if you know what I mean, he was just being well, but if you if you go back and read that entire story.
Speaker 1:Um, it definitely turned out not to be. I mean, there was some bullying going on, but that is oh 100 it's not they didn't kill her, it was it was a.
Speaker 2:It was obviously a after the fact yes, but no again. He was just yelling and harping about. Well, if it is a hate crime, you have to mandate your mandated reporter. There were incidents leading up to that sure that they did not report. That's what he was coming down on them for and I was like yes that should have been well reported in advance so you know there was someone looking out for them. I don't know why people, the hate is so real and it's so stupid, it's so stupid like we're too.
Speaker 2:we're too comfortable. This is why the word trauma comes up all the time. We are too comfortable, we have enough. Why the word trauma comes up all the time. We are too comfortable, we have enough food, we have housing. Right, I mean like most people I'm talking about in terms of overusing or abusing the term trauma. They're just saying that because they are too comfortable, like I'm sorry, real trauma would be having to go outside to use the restroom every day the restroom every day.
Speaker 1:So the actual definition of trauma is a deeply distressing or disturbing experience. An example is like a personal trauma would be like the death of a child. It's emotional shock following a stressful event or physical injury which may be associated with physical shock and sometimes lead to leads to long-term neurosis, um, and the event is relived with all the accompanying trauma. Um, so it could be that in medicine is such as um, a rupture of the diaphragm caused by blunt trauma. So there's trauma to the body, obviously medical things. So there's different, there's different. You know, emotional trauma is an experience that makes you feel unsafe or helpless. Some trauma can be physical, like such as a car accident or a physical assault, but you do not have to sustain a physical injury to experience emotional trauma. Yeah, so there's, you know it is a very wide, I would say it's broad it's broad definition, yes, very broad definition.
Speaker 1:Um. So I would say we experienced trauma.
Speaker 2:I mean to, to put it lightly, safe to say. To put it lightly, I would like, um, yeah, I mean well, and it's not just that we say that, like I've had plenty of there's therapists physical professionals yes, um normal, everyday people go what the fuck you were trying?
Speaker 2:that is trauma. So we all can confirm, yes, can confirm, can confirm um multiple sources. I didn't just do my own research on this. Um yeah, no, it was well, and I think we both had to come to the realization that we did in fact experience trauma, right? It was never talked about at the time no I mean, this was not a thing, nope, um.
Speaker 2:So it is relatively new to both of us and I do feel as though, like the, the abuse or the misuse of the term, the overuse maybe is a better way to say the overuse of the term does trivialize it. Um, yes, and it's, let's say, even though it's a broad definition, overusing it. Um, minimizes its significance when there actually is trauma. So if you are experience it and you just say that it kind of minimalizes someone's experience who actually did have, sure, post-traumatic stress disorder? Um, yes, and I I think there's good reasons for that too, meaning why the explosion of it has happened in the last you know what 15, 20 years? Um, but also has autistic diagnosis exploded in the last 15, 20 years? That's because we now know how to identify it. Therefore, we are diagnosing properly true.
Speaker 1:So roommate, one thinks she's autistic. She has not yet got tested um, but she is. She asked me why didn't we get tested?
Speaker 2:She get tested for that Number one.
Speaker 1:I never thought she was autistic, because when we were raising our children, autism was like so far out there.
Speaker 2:Well, it is a spectrum, but yeah, actually so they've, but yeah, actually.
Speaker 2:So they've removed, honestly, they've removed a lot of these definitions.
Speaker 2:So like as burgers um, I'm trying to think of the other one that's really super common like as burgers and like even touret's, almost, even though that's a specific diagnosis, but a lot of the fringe ones are all umbrellaed under autism now. So you could have autism and have a like an autism diagnosis and really only have like complex PTSD and ADHD and those are specific. But because everything is now being kind of umbrellaed under autistic diagnosis, being a general term for like trauma or stress or whatever right, and it's on a spectrum Like I could be stressed out when I wake up in the morning because I have a long day, but I could also be stressed out because I was just in a car accident. So the broader definition for autism now kind of encompasses so many like basic kind of developmental and emotional and other disorders, or we could say, you know, learning challenges or disability, disabilities or difficulties. So it kind of is so broad now that it's like, yeah, anyone can, but it wasn't it wasn't something that people even thought tested for.
Speaker 1:A lot of people had any, you know, back then, and there wasn't even testing for it. They didn't even know how to test for it, and so I was like, well, I never, you know, even suspected that you had anything wrong with you, because the people that had autism back whenever the kids were little were like, or that they had diagnosed with it, were like nonverbal or you know the extremes, and so, um, all these symptoms that they're saying now is due to autism is, um, much different than what they said right now, 20-25 years ago. So, right, um, it's just all science changing and not changing, but science, um, figuring the study more stuff out yeah and um.
Speaker 2:I also want to say, or add to that, that when our kids were little so again we're talking 20 years ago um, they there was also a stigma with sure autism diagnosis or learning disability the terminology that they were using then put a stigma on kids where, like, special needs was considered.
Speaker 1:You know there was a stigma yeah, adhd, which is so diagnosed now, but like, yeah, it was like only diagnosed to kids who you know were couldn't sit still for a minute in school, or you know?
Speaker 2:yeah, Can you tell I'm eating? I keep turning off my mic Cause I don't want to chew into the microphone, Cause I I appreciate that, I know.
Speaker 2:I was like I'm starving though, so I was like I need to eat something. Um, uh, I'm done in a second. I was like I just needed to like get a bite in me, cause I was like getting hangry. Um, the other thing that I was listening to about autism diagnosis, like so one, they're exploding a little bit more, but that's just because we've identified how to diagnose a bit better and and we've also umbrellaed it under quite a few different like factors and you know pointers in which we do that. We're also testing more frequently when it's recommended, right, but the statistics on like ADHD and autism used to be really high for boys.
Speaker 2:So it was like ADHD was almost considered like a boy, like a young male kind of dominated disorder, because they just started like it's like marfan syndrome. Marfan syndrome didn't have a genetic test. Back in the day they had a visual verification of marfan syndrome, so they just look at you and be like, oh, you got big earlobes and you got a sunken chest, small, small shoulders and a large nose. You have marfans. Like there was no clinical way to confirm that you had marfan syndrome and neither is there has there been really definitive like diagnosis tools for autism or any of its shoot-offs and you know, umbrella terms catch all underneath that until now. But now that they do have these terms defined, they're finding that it's just as common in girls as it is in boys.
Speaker 2:But because of the way that we treat boys and girls differently when they're growing up, it had been considered previously just a boys like disorder. So if they're active, like disorder. So if they're active, which most boys are, I mean your kids, all were active like boys, even though they were all girls. But because boys are hyperactive, then it was just automatically assigned to them Like oh, they just have too much energy, they must have ADHD, let's medicate them and calm them down, which is not the case. So it presents differently in girls and boys. Now that we know that, girls are getting more and more diagnosed with it because theirs presents differently than boys. Girls, you know, tend to do not active things, but they zone out, they daydream, they, you know, do all these other things. So they're presented differently. But now that we know that, then there's the diagnosis in girls is going sky high. It's not that there's more of it, we just know how to better diagnose it.
Speaker 1:Anyway, this all goes back to trauma somehow, um, so, yeah, so uh, when we, when I was, that was basically going off of what I was talking with roommate one about and how, because I mean she had some pretty trauma things that happened to her that I just learned about this week when she was young, by a family member. I use the term family very loosely. Let me say that, um, it is family by blood, but yeah, that's about it and this person will never, um, I will never see this person again um because he did things to my daughter that are insane, but I just found out Unforgivable.
Speaker 1:Unforgivable and criminal. Criminal, absolutely. We have no way of proving any of this, because it's a he said. She said at this point, unless we can get some more of his, because I believe there's multiple people that he abused. Now Victims, victims yes, victims would be the right word Survivors is the better one.
Speaker 2:There's more collaboration.
Speaker 1:There's probably nothing we can do legally right now which killed me as a mother to be honest. Frustrating at the minimum, yeah, frustrating at the very minimum. Um, so anyway, um, but she experienced that trauma when she was like six and um, dear god, uh, that would be a trauma, yeah, um 100. So a physical, a physical trauma, um, but we, uh, all my kids, have experienced some sort of trauma and you know, I was like it's. I struggle with that so much because our trauma that we were raised with was so um different.
Speaker 2:It was different trauma, but even not different, but different environment yeah, and even in so, but you have to understand that, like, like you just described in the definition, even a physical trauma like a car accident still has mental and emotional traumatic repercussions to it.
Speaker 2:So there's elements of even just a physical you know altercation that are mental and emotional because of either their lasting effects or how you got into the physical situation to begin with. Or, you know, mom, guilt for did I miss something? Right? All of that goes into it, bleeds out, leaks out, you know, into all the other areas, because it can become emotionally trauma, traumatizing, even if it was physical, because of how you respond to the same situations. Or, right, our human brains look at why it happened and we have to reason that there's something we did, didn't do, said, didn't say, that caused or made it worse or better or could have avoided because of the physical thing.
Speaker 1:But that is emotional and um, spiritually and all of those you know, dependent I think now there's um, and it wasn't, it wasn't a thing many years ago, but now there is a definition for religious trauma. Um, and religious trauma is what we experience, as well as physical and emotional. We experience sexual trifecta, um, yes, all of financial, but religious uh trauma definition is it's when a person occurs, when a person's religious experience is stressful, yep, degrading, yep, uh, dangerous, uh-huh, abusive or or damaging, right, okay, so check all the box, check all of those boxes, um, and that, I believe, takes it, should, should, if you're experiencing those types of things, should take that religion or place out of the realm of religion, like it should not be a religion anymore. If they're causing that kind of stuff, um, religion, um, which I'm totally against religion anymore. I, I have no um, I think organized religion, I hate it. Um, I think you can believe whatever you want to believe without religion and um, religion is just a lot of people use it because a coping mechanism, uh yes, a coping mechanism.
Speaker 1:It's a crutch. It can be something where they find friends. You know there's there's a lot of reasons that people go to religion, but I don't know there's there's a lot of reasons that people go to religion, but I don't necessarily think that there's a right religion out there well, I think about it now.
Speaker 2:I think from a 20 000 foot viewpoint as um. Well, some people use food as a coping mechanism, sure to get through their day and to make life more enjoyable for them. Some people use food as a coping mechanism to get through their day and to make life more enjoyable for them. Some people use alcohol, some people use drugs or any kind of other mind altering substance or right, and you can say food is mind altering substance on many different levels. So people use things to help them through this slow march to death. I'm not ever going to judge anyone for doing any of those things, but you get to make the choices and you get to choose how you do them. But if that, whatever it is, your coping mechanism bleeds over into other areas of your life, harms other people or impinges on people's individual right to choose what they allow into their lives or not right into that choice, then I have a problem with it. And religion often does that. Yeah, it often bleeds over and pushes.
Speaker 2:You know, well, it's like, um, my friends that have gone sober, you know what. Good for you, happy, you Happy. I mean, yes, go for it. If that makes you happy, fucking do it. But don't yell at me about if I have drinks, that I'm doing the wrong thing. And it's the same thing with religion. Or vegans, great, you do you. You love veggies? Fucking nail it. You know, go for for it. But don't tell me that I shouldn't be eating meat because, right, we only have so much control and the control we have is one their choices we make. And then how we react to other people's choices, um, yeah, and, and that's it. And you shouldn't really have a desire to, like, reach over and tell someone how they should choose or what they want. Yeah, um, because that's not your choice. You can choose how you react to someone doing that, and our reaction is fuck off, right, I mean really, oh, and that goes for religion, like you were saying. You know, do whatever you need to do to cope.
Speaker 1:No, if if you want religion, that is great and that is your choice. But when you start telling other people they're doing the wrong thing because they're not doing what you're doing, that's when it's a problem absolutely that's, yeah, that's exactly the same same as exactly what you just said.
Speaker 2:So so and I think that that gets almost Liz, you might've nailed it, because that gets almost deeper into like so then the trauma starts happening, and I'm talking about spiritual, emotional, physical, sexual right, psychological. All of that happens when you're not allowed to make a choice and you're forced into a situation, or when you can't, you don't have the resources to make a choice, or when someone takes that choice away from you and then you're left feeling helpless. The definition you read was feeling helpless or out of control, right, and so trauma occurs at the point at which that choice is taken away from you and or even if you didn't have it in the first place, like a young child, they really didn't have a choice about that.
Speaker 2:Um and and it was taken away from them.
Speaker 1:Well, yeah, same with us growing up, right? You know we didn't have a choice. We had to do this, we had to be involved. It wasn't a choice, right? I think now, all of the knowledge that I know now, versus, like, if I was in mom's house I'd have been kicked out at like 11, I know I mean, oh, this is crazy oh I actually nature, but no, you actually asked mom this week, last week this week last week with sorry yanni, when this stuff about my daughter came out, um, within our family, uh, and her therapist, um, anyway, I called my mom because, you know, rachel came out to my mom immediately.
Speaker 1:No, I didn't, you know, not immediately rachel or my mom found out about rachel's situation from me. Yes, um, but I asked my mom, like her reaction, because she had this instant, like we're going to the police, we're doing this, like she, literally, and I had never seen her I don't think ever like take charge or like um, be so a hundred percent, like on board with believing at number one and putting the church and the religion aside instantly. She just like was, like you know, we're going for blood instantly, right, do you think that? No, so I asked her because, you know, dealing with the stuff with my daughter, um, I said, what was your first reaction? And she goes, oh, he did it. And she said, and like we were going to like, uh, get some justice. And I was like, okay, I mean, I, I feel the same way. I know there's not a statue of limitations On that kind of stuff.
Speaker 2:There might be, on murder, a statue of limitations there might be on murder. Is there Murder?
Speaker 1:Yeah, no, that's what I thought. But I'm'm like, but that's my instant thought was I can, I'm going to.
Speaker 2:I can help you. I can help you with getting rid of the body kill somebody we can't really talk about this because that was my first thought.
Speaker 1:And then, of course, she told her dad.
Speaker 2:Her dad believed it, instantly said oh my gosh if shithead we're talking about ever dies, we have to scratch this from the record. But you know what? I'm sorry. I think that there is a few, there are several instances in humanity where deranged and horrible death you know means of death are absolutely worthy of some people, I agree.
Speaker 2:And I think that we as a society can very, very easily determine that I think our criminal criminal, you know, prison industrial complex in this country is out of fucking control. And if you did some drugs, you know, or you had a hard time and you get, you know, put in, you know jail and you ruin you you know your whole life and it's never the same. You know that's some fucked up shit. I do not believe in that at all. I, however, believe that, you know, in the 1800s, when we were shooting people, that fucking killed, you know, small children, yeah, I fucking think everybody in our society would be on board with that, and these type of people as well.
Speaker 2:Like that, I think sexual predators, yeah, sexual predators, children, I mean, we're talking about children that I get it, that are, and I'm gonna get so much flack sent back to me for this, but like we have a sort of a legal limit of an adult definition. It's legal, it's nothing else. It's a legal definition of an adult allowed to make decisions at the age of 18. You know, in some states for like, uh, substances like tobacco, um, you know, firearms, um, all these things, rent a car, um, driver's license, um, all fishing license and there's different age limits that are legal, legally placed boundaries of where you're a child or not sure does that mean that anyone who whoops um, I didn't realize you were 17, I'm 19 and oh shit, we had sex should be, uh, criminalized and prosecuted and ruin his life over that him or her?
Speaker 2:no, I absolutely think it's circumstantially based. But if you're a, you know, grown adult man, meaning you know you're over the age of 25, 30 and you are are being a predator on single digit human beings who don't have agency, are not developed enough, you know to even understand what that term means then yeah, you should die. You should not, absolutely. I mean, at the very least, chemical castration is an option. Just fucking cut the balls off. Um, you know, for females, same thing if they're predators and there are female predators, they're much less common, but there are and also that legal 18 age limit should not extend to those with limited mental capacity. If you are mentally for sure not 18, even though you're legally 18, you can still be predated. You know, you can still have a predator come after you and that is still as bad as you know absolutely because they are not of the mental capacity to be able to make those decisions for themselves.
Speaker 2:And that's really what the you know. The legal ease of it is fucking bullshit. Um, because I think as a society, there's hardly well, other than the predators themselves, hardly anyone who would disagree with a fucking shooting squad for someone who, you know, touches a six-year-old child, uh, period, and I think there'd be plenty of fucking people that would do that. Um, and I think most of our society would be absolutely fine with that, and I also think that most of our society would be fine well, the problem with these people is they're gonna do it.
Speaker 1:Which ones? Oh, absolutely it's a it's a, it's not, it's a sickness in their head. Yeah, that cannot be cured it's just like mental.
Speaker 2:It's just like mental illness. It is exactly the same thing, and you're only going to fix it again. There's chemical castration, um, and, and, or, you know, separate yourself from society. There's a whole island, um, fuck, where is it? I need to look it up real quick. There's a whole island of child sexual predators. And guess what? They all live on an island for the very fucking reason because they know that themselves.
Speaker 1:That's literally true there is, this island exists.
Speaker 2:Yes, special Commitment Center in the state of Washington, oh no, yeah. So Washington, mcneil Island, there's 214 dangerous sexual predator, violent predators and they self-com commit. I believe, okay, it's a facility, but I believe that there it's a special commitment so they have to self put them in there.
Speaker 2:Like they have to put. They put themselves in there, like I need to be there because otherwise I will sexually Yep, yep and um, it is a whole entire thing. So they know, yeah, they fucking know, right, and it's just like ours. You know, we're gonna like protect a fucking fetus, yeah, but we're not, not our own, we're not gonna protect that are.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that are actual human yeah and uh, I have a new name for one of the supreme court justices it's uterus aceto, uterus aceto, because he can't control his wife's uterus, so he's gonna try and control every other woman in the fucking country's. Uterus, uterus aceto, fucking asshole. But yeah, that is mind-blowing that we will put more laws in place to protect an unborn tissue inside of a full-grown woman's body, but we will not protect anything full grown woman's body, but we will not protect anything after it comes out of her womb. Because then right, yeah, it's just, it's so mind-blowing it's mind-blowing.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I 100 so trauma, back to her topic. Oh, by the way, you have to do a lot to do with trauma. It's all trauma. You have to do a sign off today, um, but yeah, okay, we should. Well, we should wrap up the topic for a minute here but then uh, we have to do our wins and fails and also our your sign off, which I'm looking forward to. You have one right did you let randy do it?
Speaker 1:no, I don't have one right. Did you let Randy do it?
Speaker 2:No, I don't have one, what I just have one. Okay, I'm going to, I'm going to text you on.
Speaker 1:I mean, I have a stupid one that I heard when I was growing up.
Speaker 2:Okay Well, don't do it, don't do it yet.
Speaker 1:Well, I won't, okay, but anyway, um, so wrap it up. Yeah, so wrap it up. Wrapping it up, um, I I think the best thing to do if you have experienced trauma so that's where we need to go from there is you need to not isolate yourself. I think, being around people seek therapy if you need it. There's a lot of different ways you can deal with trauma, because a lot of people have trauma um and doing I'm sorry, I'm laughing, I cannot, uh, concentrate, just so you guys just you guys know I'm sending her unhinged sign-offs right now.
Speaker 1:Yes, yes off right now. Yes, yes, um, but yeah, try not to. This is the other thing. Try not to find um like go down a trail of alcohol or drugs or something like that, because or pain pills, you know, things like that make things feel better momentarily, but they're not going to help you deal with the trauma. Um, also, like I said, hang around friends, but hang around supportive people.
Speaker 2:It's a lot more about finding community.
Speaker 1:Yes, people who are supportive of you, and not, um, not just anybody. You want to. You want to be, hang around, spend your time with people who love you. Anyway, I think exercise is huge. Well, that's a mental simulation right.
Speaker 2:So if you're in your head that's what I mean, yeah, but if you're in your head about and and you can spiral, right, that's a thing like you start spiraling and go. Okay, um, you know, that's all you can. A lot of brains work like that, where we tend to focus on the negative, but focusing on, like energy or exercise is going to take your brain off the brain. The brain's uh focus onto something positive instead of something negative. Now there's something to be said about using drugs, drugs and alcohol responsibly. Okay, um, I don't, uh encourage irresponsible drug and alcohol abuse. Um, but they just approved the fda is about to approve mdma for therapeutic use. Now, um, who was doing a bunch of drugs experimentally in their traumatic therapy, high stages of re rehabilitation? Right, I was. I did a ton of experimental drugs, um, but I was doing really intensive therapy at the same time. Well, that fucking helped, and so I can stand there and go. Yes, so don't like, don't put down, like all those drugs that I researched.
Speaker 1:No, but I mean. What I'm talking about is where you're turning to alcohol and becoming an alcoholic.
Speaker 2:Right, as a coping mechanism, it's just like joining a cult. It's just yes. Yes, I understand that, but I just wanted to clarify that because it was like no, if you need something to relax, unwind, yes't abuse it. Yes, substance abuse is not what we're saying here. Yes, right, there are other outlets and that could be dancing, that could be surfing, that could be playing volleyball, that could be all the things you do that could be overworking yourself, so you don't have to think about it.
Speaker 1:Yep, no, that has been my vice and I've used it to my demise at times, because I stay busy, because then your brain cannot think and remember the trauma and deal with the trauma. So staying busy. But as I've gotten older, I take days off and I, you know, make things or make space to do things for myself. So that definitely helps a lot.
Speaker 2:Well, the term self-care again. I think this goes back to the self-care thing. Like it's an industry now, like you know what, don't worry about what you're doing, just make sure you feel. Okay, that's it. Like there's too much money on therapy there, right, and yes, people do need therapy and there are traumatic events. But get the fuck outside and go do something. Like there are, like there's a balance, but it is an industry and we have to understand that. Everything follow the money, follow the money. Yeah, therapy is a huge fucking industry and you know what? I think most people should be in therapy at some point in their lives for sure.
Speaker 2:But guess what, don't over obsess about that, don't over obsess about self-care. If you want to do something, go do it. Like, make your life to where you can physically do it. If you need help, go get help.
Speaker 2:If you, if you need to cope for a little bit and you know it's temporary cope, but get through it have friends around you, have family around you that are going to be a feedback or a mirror source to tell you, hey, this is becoming a problem and you guys have done that for me too, like you've been like this is really shitty. You're having a problem. You need to fucking fix it. And guess what that's? That's when you go, okay, I gotta pull my big girl fucking pants up, you know, and start doing a little bit better about what I'm doing, cause obviously it's not working Right. So I feel like that is a you know, but if you don't have that system around you which not everyone does, but then it's like okay, well, you know, maybe you enjoy fishing, so go out and find a fucking group of fishermen that just want to fudge.
Speaker 2:But just want to catch fucking crabs? Okay, like, whatever it is. I had so many thoughts going through my brain right there. I couldn't get it out, which was hilarious, but I had a lot of funny stuff and so I started cracking myself up. Anyway, the last one, the last one I sent you was pretty good Only if you deliver it. Only if you deliver it well. Okay, Liz, you got wins and fails okay, you want to go first? No, I go first every fucking time no, that's not true.
Speaker 1:I will go first. Okay, so wins and losses for the last two weeks. So my, my win is going to be what we talked about in the beginning the food truck.
Speaker 1:Like we're finally we finally got done with that and it's going to be working, um, this week, and so I'm happy about that. Um, so that's a huge win because it's been a stressor. Um, my loss is also what we talked about finding out about my kid and her being sexually abused when she was six. So, um, that is a huge loss for me, um, as far as, uh, mentally, emotionally, everything, um, and I've lost sleep, sleep, I've lost a million things over that. So, um, that is my loss for the week. But the win is that the food truck is, you know, up and running and we should be good.
Speaker 2:So now your turn okay, and that's, yeah, heavy, heavy shit. It's, it's, it's it's a thing because it's it's. The fucked up thing is that it's not our first rodeo and that is fucked up. It is intrinsically that is fucked up. Yeah, the also even maybe potentially more fucked up is that we know how to deal with it. Um, to some degree, right, like, because it's it's exposure therapy which is fucked up again, like that it's. It's not the first time it's happened. We've gone through this before. We know you know the journey, we know the fucking pain, we know the heartache, we know the loss, we know all of that, but so, and that's all fucked up, all of it, it's all fucked up. Um, okay, so well, let's start with the loss. Um, we, I had a tough week too.
Speaker 2:I guess, um, I, um, I'm always um, let's see, um, I guess my loss is the way that we as a society are sort of giving a big, huge, we don't fucking care, like, um, you know social media, media in general, and it's not people you talk to, but I do feel it's really, really specific to the online spaces. People are just angry, rage filled, horrible, awful, hateful human beings. Now, when I go out, um, I'm not, I don't experience that in face-to-face interactions. For the most part, most of my face-to-face actions interactions are really positive. Um, I was driving um to uh partner's house, uh, yesterday and we we chatted for a little bit but then, um, I pulled up beside this car and this woman in the car next to me and I think she had kids or someone in the back seat, I don't, it's unclear.
Speaker 2:Anyway, she had this like long, like really curly hair and then she had like and I could just see it through the back of her window because she had tinted windows but when I pulled up next to her she had like green, purple, pink, like all these like like unicorn, fucking beautiful, like sprouts coming out like in bright different colors on this huge mass of beautiful curly, long hair.
Speaker 2:And I pulled up to her and we got stopped at the second at a light together and I just rolled down my window and got her attention and I was like your hair is fucking phenomenal, it's the best thing I've seen all day. Like that is amazing, you just made my day. And she was like so excited and happy to like hear that as a compliment because like I made her day. But I was like that made my day, like just seeing that I was like you go get your badass girl self, like that's amazing. So, like the face to face interactions you know that I have with people like on a day to day basis, are almost always positive and, you know, uplifting, and people treat each other so much nicer when they're face to face with each other and they have to see them.
Speaker 2:But I feel as though, like the media environment, you know the overhype and sensational and sensationalization of all these, you know events and everybody's got to put in their two cents and I give a shit about this and that and it's just like guys, that is not the world I want to live in and I feel like my. My loss is that where I've, I've incrementally found myself less and less online or giving a shit about anything that does happen there. Like, I love the Instagram, in the morning I just throw off a ton of them because it makes me laugh and it's silly, but the second it gets like hateful and angry and, you know, shitty, I'm off because I just don't have bandwidth for that anymore. Yeah, I, I prefer like individual, one-on-one conversations. Let's talk about it. If we disagree, then let's just have a civil conversation, you know, and talk about it, rather than this back and forth bullshit that happens online. So that's my loss and, um, I do think I do have a little bit of hope about that. Like, I think the younger generation is picking up on that. Like, um, roommate fours, she's not online very much at all. I think she does snapchat, um, you know, and a couple things here and there, but she's not like uh virally and debilitatingly online all the time, and I think that's a good thing, and I think her even her and younger are starting to pick up on that, which I really appreciate, because I'm like, yeah, it's just, it's it's thing, and I think her even her and younger are starting to pick up on that, which I really appreciate, because I'm like, yeah, it's just, it's, it's violent and it's horrifying the way people treat each other um, and it's. You know, anyway, that's my loss.
Speaker 2:Um, the win is certainly going to be um our justice system, because you know rule of law. I think uh was broken and I think that if you break a law, that you should be punished for it. Um, and I think that our justice system held up um in all the right ways, as it should. Um, I don't think anyone's above the law and I think that if you do commit crimes and particularly in this instance, which nobody's talking about it now, but it was election fraud if you commit election fraud, then you should not be able to be voted into a presidency and that's just plain and simple. Um, if it were reversed um, this would have never happened. So I think, again, there is being special treatment here and it's going, you know, in the uh, the perpetrator here's the convicted felons. Well, being convicted of that many felonies I'm not going to say convicted felon, because I don't think that that's correct. I think we should say being convicted of 34 counts, um, and being convicted for those should make you ineligible to run the nation on which, whose laws you've said you're going to uphold. So I think that that's my win for this week. And you know what? Um, yeah, um, if you break a law, you should pay the crime, uh, or, you know, do the, do the crime, do the time. So I think that that's a win, um, and that our justice system did its job. And and that's putting it mildly Um, I think there were some mistakes and and stuff.
Speaker 2:But you know what? Um, it was a jury conviction, and those were people who sat there in the courtroom and listened to the testimony. I wasn't there. Hardly anyone else I know was there the whole time, you know. So I'm sorry they heard it. They came to their own. You know judgment of that, and that's how you know. We should convict all the pedophiles too, anyway, um, so did you harsher punishments for them, though? For sure, yeah, absolutely. Again, firing squad. I'm like I know plenty of people.
Speaker 2:Oh, there was a show this week. I'm gonna, I'm gonna send it to you, because I don't I don't want to say the name online or on air um, it it's fascinating and I think, like you and I will totally get it. It's it's kind of hard to watch, it's really weird, but it's the most interesting thing I've absolutely seen on like television in a long time. And it's a series, episodic, but, um, this guy goes around new york, um, and it started in one way, but now it kind of has been like guided in a different direction. But anyway, he just randomly ran into this guy and this guy actually baits sexual predators online and then goes to meet up with them with his evidence of, like, I'm underage. He's saying I'm underage, he's not. This is dexter my dear. No, no, no, it's not, it's not. Okay, it's a totally different thing, absolutely different. And he goes and is it a documentary or a show? Nope, it's a.
Speaker 2:This is just a little sliver of the show, okay okay, so he randomly meets this guy and that's what the guy does, is he like, baits out these sexual predators and then he'll go there, call the cops and the cops show up and arrest the guy, because they're like here's what he tried to do. Yeah, anyway, it's not that show, it's not any of the things. It's totally different. It's off the wall. That's why I was like you might actually dig it, because it's all over the place, it's kind of unhinged.
Speaker 1:I'll send it to you anyway all right.
Speaker 2:Did you figure out what sign off you're gonna use? I did, okay. Well, you have to deliver it with the theater of a well-trained, you know, performance artist.
Speaker 1:Yeah, okay, all right well, all so find us on sisters. Uh, declassified. Our social media sucks Cause we both aren't on it enough but, you can message us on there and we will get the messages, um, but Google, google email um. Google email is sisters declassified at gmailcom. Email us um and let us know your thoughts or if you have anything you would like us to talk about. Um.
Speaker 2:We'd love to hear from you, or if you want to know anything about us, like ask us a question, something that we haven't told you about. We're not going to give away the whole freaking kitchen sink, but if you have something, you want, a burning question, you want to know and I know there's some listeners that might have some yeah, email us questions.
Speaker 1:We'd love it. We would love it.
Speaker 2:Yeah alrighty, are we ready for it?
Speaker 1:we're ready have the day you deserve.